The Night Before ChristmasInuyasha Style!
by iloveprettysilverhair
Summary: A twist on "The Night Before Christmas". *Warning* Snarky comments abound!


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or The Night Before Christmas.

**Title: The Night Before Christmas-Inuyasha Style**

**Author: iloveprettysilverhair**

**Characters: The Inuyasha Group**

**Genre: Humor, Friendship**

**Prompt: Bark & Bite**

**Rating: PG for some swearing**

**Warnings: None**

**Summary: A twist on "The Night Before Christmas"**

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**Kagome:** "It's been a while since we've all been together like this, hasn't it?"

**Sesshoumaru: **"Not long enough, in my opinion."

**Inuyasha:** "Just shut it, it's not like I wanna be here either! Blame your bitch."

**Kagome: **"Hey!"

**Miroku: **"That was not very polite, Inuyasha."

**Inuyasha: **"Keh!"

**Sesshoumaru: **"Remind me again why I agreed to this?"

**Kagome: **"Because…you _love me_?"

**Sesshoumaru: **"Hn."

**Sango: **"I, for one, am glad to be here. Just like old times!"

**Shippou: **"Me too! So quit whining like a baby, Inuyasha."

**Inuyasha: **"Why you little…Don't hide behind Sesshoumaru's runt!"

**Jaken:** "How dare you insult Lord Sesshoumaru's ward, you filthy half-breed! You are not worthy enough to kiss the ground he walks-"

**Sesshoumaru: **"Be silent!"

_Beat._

**Rin: **"Master Jaken, you're funny when you're angry."

**Kagome: **"Maybe we should just get this over with?"

**Sesshoumaru: **"Indeed."

**Miroku: **"So, who would like to do the honors? I would, but I *cough cough* have a scratch in my throat."

**Sango: **"Sure you do."

**Inuyasha: **"I sure as hell ain't doin' it. Shippou, you do it."

**Shippou: **"No way! I'm just a little kid! Besides, I don't know how to read."

**Rin: **"I think Lord Sesshoumaru should do it!"

**Inuyasha: **"Now that, I would like to see."

**Sesshoumaru: **"No. Do not smile at me like that Kagome."

**Kagome: **"Oh come on! You have such a _nice_ voice. Please?"

**Inuyasha: **"Yeah, c'mon _brother_. Pleeeeaaaaaaase?"

**Sesshoumaru: **"Fine."

**Together: **"Yay!"

**Sesshoumaru: **"But no, interruptions. I will not repeat myself."

**Together:** *Grumble* *Mumble*

**Inuyasha: **"Get on with it already!"

**Kagome: **"Inuyasha…"

**Inuyasha: **"I'll be good."

**Sesshoumaru: **"I shall begin…_Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the hut, not a creature was stirring, except for a half-breed mutt-"_

**Inuyasha: **"Bastard."

**Kagome: ***Sigh*

**Sesshoumaru: **_"Each stocking was hung by the chimney with care, but that of the mongrel, greatly needed some air."_

**Shippou: **"Oh brother…"

**Rin: **"Milord's such a good story-teller!"

**Together: ***Giggles*

**Sesshoumaru: **_"The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of needless sugar danced in their heads_."

**Shippou: **"I like candy."

**Rin: **"Me too!"

**Sango: **"Shhh…"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"And Kagome in her nighty-"_

**Kagome: **"Sesshoumaru!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"-and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap_."

**Miroku: **"And just what color, is this nighty?"

**Sango: **"You're such a pervert."

**Rin: **"What's a nighty?"

**Inuyasha: **"Can we just get back to the story?"

**Kagome: **"Yes, please."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"When out in the clearing there arose such a blast, I sprang from the trees as Inuyasha did, though half-assed_."

**Inuyasha: **"Can someone _else_ tell the story now?"

**Sesshoumaru: **"Actually, I am quite enjoying myself. Now be quiet."

**Inuyasha: **"Then tell it right! You sonnuvabi-"

**Miroku: **"Um…Inuyasha. Innocent ears."

**Inuyasha: **"Keh!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"Away to the clearing I flew like a flash, armed at the ready, I drew my sword from my sash. The moon on the armor of the vile half-breed-"_

**Inuyasha: **"Oh come on!"

**Sango: **"He isn't talking about you this time."

**Inuyasha: **"Oh."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"Gave farce luster to the creature as wanted as a weed."_

**Inuyasha: **"Now you're just stretching it."

**Kagome: **"Shh!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"When what to my "all-seeing" eyes did appear, but a witch made of wind and a little chit with a mirror."_

**Shippou: **"He's talking about Kagura and Kanna, Inuyasha."

**Inuyasha: **"I _knew_ that!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"With tentacles spurting, and miasma a dark blue, I knew in that moment it was Naraku."_

**Kagome: **"Did you have to mention the tentacles? Gross."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"More rapid than panthers, the demons all came; a nuisance to hinder and they were all fair game."_

**Inuyasha: **"They're no match for me and the Tessaiga! Bring 'em on!"

**Sango: **"Oh yes, because you don't want or _need_ our help at all, do you?"

**Shippou:** "You know you do Inuyasha!"

**Jaken:** "Shut up you ingrates! Lord Sesshoumaru is trying to tell the story!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"Now Kanna! Now Kagura! Now Goshinki he called then! On Byakuya! On Hakudoshi! And the Band of Seven! To the ends of the world they shall all look a fool, for they deserve not, the sacred pink jewel."_

**Rin: **"Go Lord Sesshoumaru!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"The demons did charge, but were not up to par, my father's great sword sang with the cry of Wind Scar!"_

**Inuyasha: **"Hell yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"Many were felled, but some still remained; the dark half-breed, unhappy, held fury untamed."_

**Rin: **"This is kinda scary."

**Shippou: **"Don't worry Rin, with me around, nothing will get you!"

**Kagome: **"You two are so cute!"

**Inuyasha: **"Could we? I want to hear more of the story!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"And then with roar, I heard him cry out; he took aim at us all though in his voice was small doubt."_

**Miroku: **"Indeed he wouldn't be so sure of himself if all his demons were gone."

**Inuyasha: **"Damn straight; he better be scared!"

**Sesshoumaru:** _"As I drew up my sword Naraku cried out with a moan, a boomerang struck him made of old demon bone."_

**Miroku: **"That's my girl!"

**Sango: ***Blush*

**Sesshoumaru: **_"His strength fading quickly; he attempted to flee, but a pure arrow stopped him its shooter, our key."_

**Kagome: **"Awww! I never knew you felt that way about me."

**Inuyasha: **"Keh! You know you're important to our group, stupid."

**Shippou: **"That's the pot calling the kettle black."

**Inuyasha: **"Shut it ya little twerp!"

**Sesshoumaru: **"As I was saying…_His life near its end, he looked broken-hearted; I struck down with my sword, his body all but parted."_

**Rin: **"Ewww!"

**Sango: **"Really, did you have to go into detail?"

**Shippou: **"Coooooool!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"With no bees around, the monk drew back his beads; the hole that had cursed him, to salvation finally leads."_

**Miroku: **"Who'da thought that Naraku would die from his own curse? It is nice to have a full hand back." *Waggles eyebrows*

**Inuyasha: **"You're such a freak, Miroku."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"His droll little mouth set in a line very grim and his face all knowing that this was the end of him."_

**Inuyasha: **"Yeah, I'll never forget that look. Damn bastard deserved a fate worse than death."

**Sango: **"I agree with you on that one."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"The land finally free of the hideous beast was free to rejoice with sake and feast."_

**Inuyasha: **"That was the best party _ever_."

**Kagome: **"I think you drank more than Mushin that night."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"The mutt's round face overshadowed by his belly; that night shook hard when he laughed, like an oversized bowl full of jelly."_

**Inuyasha: **"I can't help it if they kept telling me to eat more! You try turning down when it's fed to you by grateful women; I sure as hell ain't!"

**Miroku: **"Indeed they were quite grateful- eh, not that I would know _personally_. I only have eyes for you my dear!"

**Sango:** *Glare*

**Sesshoumaru: **_"Passed out on the ground from sake of great wealth, my lips tilted to a smirk in spite of myself."_

**Kagome: **"Leave it to you to be amused by your brother's inebriation."

**Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha: **"_Half_-brother."

**Kagome: ***Eye roll* "Are you two still hung up on that?"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"A wink of an eye and a smile sincere, often returned me to the village to be more near."_

**Kagome: **"Awww, your bark is worse than your bite, you know that?" *Swoon*

**Inuyasha: **"Enough sissy crap, just finish the story already."

**Jaken: **"For once, I agree with the half-breed!"

**Sesshoumaru: **_"Life goes on for this group and their work, though the mutt with the ears is still quite a jerk."_

**Inuyasha: **"Grrr…I've had just about enough of this shit! You're going down!"

**Kagome: **"Inuyasha….don't make me say it!"

**Shippou: **"She hasn't threatened him with that in years."

**Inuyasha: **"Fine. Just keep going."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"A long future together is what the jewel foretold; no one knows how, but to us it's all gold."_

**Together: **"…"

**Sesshoumaru: **"What, no snide remarks?"

**Kagome: ***sniffle* "Just keep going, you're almost done."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"To all those who see us, we are an odd group indeed, but others would do well to follow our lead."_

**Rin: **"What's that mean Lord Sesshoumaru?"

**Miroku: **"It means that even if you're different from someone, you can still be good friends."

**Rin: **"Oh. That makes sense."

**Sesshoumaru: **_"I end this tale, the mood nice and light…"_

**Together: **_"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"_

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_**This was something that came to me earlier and demanded to be written. Hope you enjoyed it; it's just something silly and fun ^_^ **_

_**Whether or not you celebrate Christmas, I wish you all a very happy holiday season! Have fun, be safe, be happy!**_


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